Wednesday, July 18, 2007

Dear Eunice:

That you wrote to me regarding our writing "experiment," our little coalition to create a new form of writing -- our fantasy to be in Playboy released -- isn't that how it came out? -- is a tremendous honor. I wanted to be in Playboy; you wanted to be in Playboy. Instead, you live in South Carolina with a husband who used to look at Playboy until he met you at 18 -- isn't that what you wrote? And I never even think about my Playboy goal, anymore, ever since I grew up & left high school & started to vote & came back home to Grange. Unbeknownst to me, under my surface, there was this aged, mouldy-bread, rock-hard former wish to be featured nude, and you had the same one, and we wrote, using a new form of writing (people in Grange are not my audience; people in South Carolina not yours). Probably, our audience is in England. Didn't the provost at the writing conference talk a lot about England? (I thought it was weird that a provost was leading a writing session, but maybe it's just me.) I've thought about your offer to move in with you and Lawrence while I recover from a.) my cult exposures (thank you for the offer, to be sure) and b.) from the rumor that I had probably had a baby & left it at a train station in Wyo. The cultists were making up stories like that about people, and we were required to attend the groups, anyway, even though they were basically ruining every day we ever had lived with their lies & invented religiosity. After going through that horrible set of years, I could not have believed that I harbored that old fantasy to be in Playboy. I'm not sure if I'm supposed to be ironic in it or not. If I take you up on your offer, and at least visit you in S.C., we could try to write a collaborative story about the cult years -- I'll give it to you. The provost & his team would not like it, do not like collaborative or new writing, and would much rather read something conventional -- wouldn't they? We could knit a sign that reads, "Experimental Short Story," to hold up at the next conference. I'm just glad I met you & that we are friends.



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